A Facebook friend whom I have never met, whom I have never exchanged a single personal message with, suddenly PMed me to ask if she could see me urgently. She said she had been a silent reader of my writings for four years and an avid follower, thus can she please come and see me?

I told her, “Sure, how long will you be in Phuket?” and she replied, “I’ll fly in in the morning and leave in the evening.”

I suggested she stays for at least a couple of days to enjoy the island, but she said that she wasn’t in the mood for a holiday. She just needed to see me urgently, but she would not tell me what the matter was about. I waited for her arrival in trepidation.

Within five minutes of arriving, she blurted out, “Do I have cancer?”

She removed her top.

“You should really see a doctor,” I said. “Not I. I cannot tell if you have cancer. It requires tests. And also, I am not a specialist.”

“Please,” she begged. “Just look.”

She had lumps on her body. There were twelve of them. They were about the size of a 5p coin and they looked like little hills. They were skin coloured and there were no obvious signs of infection. I touched one. “Does it hurt?”

“No,” She said.

I told her that unless she promises to see a doctor immediately, I will not say another thing to her.

“I am too scared to see a doctor, that’s why I am here,” she replied tearfully.

I told her, “Here’s the deal. I can’t guarantee that I am right but I would say that I do not think you have cancer.”

I told her about the curious incident I encountered a couple of years ago. I saw similar lumps on a person’s body. It was my first time seeing these benign bumps, so being the ever-vigilant doctor, I commented immediately, “You should have this investigated.” But when I delved deeper, it became apparent what those lumps were. The body that carried the lumps was never loved. It was not even loved by its own owner, who was completely dissociated from it. It had sex but it was not loved. The lumps were pockets of coldness in the body. By stroking the body and loving it, the lumps would disappear. And much of it did, with love. The body also got stronger as it connected with external love, in the absence of internal self-love.

When a body is loved, it is stroked, caressed, and touched non-sexually unhurriedly and for long periods of time. It goes to sleep with another skin-on-skin. It is cherished and benefits greatly from the transmission of love from one human being to another.

I showed my new friend our home gym.


It was equipped with expensive equipment and is a nice-looking room. But my partner and I seldom use it. We prefer to run in Nature along the forest path, by the sea, up the hills or simply along our beloved Phuket roads. The room was cold and unloved. And strangely enough, there was always something wrong with it. Like the air-conditioning system stopped working out of the blue. The door jammed up. There was a leak.

My friend told me sadly that she was single. She did not pay much notice to her body – that was why she did not know exactly when those lumps appeared. She even avoided looking at her body, until the lumps appeared on her neck.

“I love reading your posts about you and your man, they way you both play and tease each other,” she remarked. “Maybe I should get myself a man.”

I told her, not just any man. But a lover who really loves and  cherishes your body and your sexuality, not just a male with the pre-requisite organ for procreation.  The latter is a business relationship, not a love contract. There is a whole universe of difference between those two types of men and the latter type is not worth it.

“Where to find a lover?” She asked.

I wish I knew. It took me many years to find mine. But here’s a list of things I suggested she does in the meantime.

Things to do for loving yourself until your lover comes along:

  1. Go for massages
  2. Buy lovely moisturisers and keep your skin in good condition
  3. Get a manicure and pedicure
  4. Eat clean food. Eat Soul Food (recipes on this site)
  5. Take long baths in scented water
  6. Play with yourself


Today, she messaged me to tell me that those lumps weren’t cancerous. The specialist told her they are lipomas (benign tumours of clumped up fat). I told her she’d better fix herself by doing the things on my list or she’d look like Quasimodo with lumps appearing on her face if she does not begin loving her own body.

Note: Always get suspicious-looking lumps checked out IMMEDIATELY. early detection saves lives.

Related posts on love heals:


Be in lust

You need an intelligent wife/husband