In the Asian lingo, there is this saying, “Easy to be nice to ppl when you need them.” So true. It had happened to me and I will learn from the experiences.
This is one thing I have learnt in the last week: practising gratitude is more challenging when things are great in your life. We have to be more mindful to thank those who made the good life possible.
I think we sometimes kind of forget about the good that others have done for us in our moments of need as we race ahead on the road to nowhere. Thus I love this photo of one athlete helping another during the Olympics: there are more important things in life IF we stop and think for a moment.
Last week, I looked at my partner with jaded eye. He had a long day, he was ragged around the edges and he was crabby as hell. He, my partner, is a large man and when he is cagey, he paces around and objects literally shake as if an earthquake is happening in the room. And he curses and swears like a trooper. All very difficult when I was feeling mellow and sitting down trying to write my second novel, The Sisterhood.
A couple of hours ago, before facing my caged tiger, I was having a drink with a friend of a friend who was introduced to me for the sole purpose of character research for The Sisterhood. I needed inspiration for the character of Alex, an entrepreneur who quit his job at his peak to do something else entirely different, because he loves life and is a free spirit. The friend of a friend that I met was exactly how I imagined Alex to be, and more. We hit off immediately and there was a spark between us, probably because he spoke Indonesian. I could have sat at the wine bar for hours talking to this person.
Instead, I rushed home to someone with fury reigning in him because he had a bad day. But with hindsight of my own life’s experience, I closed my eyes for a long moment and thought back to how patient and kind my partner had been to me when I was so ill a few months ago.
When it mattered, he had been all softness and love. He had sleepless nights after sleepless nights. He cleaned up my mess without flinching. And it is he who will do it all over again, no question, should those terrible days come back.
That really did put things into perspective for me – it doesn’t matter really that he is not perfect. He is difficult to live with. He is a beast, a big brute, but he is like an old Land Rover that I have always loved. I might want a fast bike to roar around town, but it is a trusty old Land Rover that takes me home.
Life is a collection of good days and bad days. On your good days, never forget those who stayed with you during the bad ones ❤
And that was us on the beach in Langstone Harbour, not far from my parents’ home.