My partner has this dogged British bulldog determination (or pigheaded stubbornness) that goes with his steady hand. Indeed, I have never seen his hand shaking though he freely admits he has quaked many times in his boots. But stand strong and stoic he does; he is like an impassable mountain once he’s fixed his mind on something.



Many times I have asked him to go, leave me, bog off, but my words were like water down a duck’s back. “The storm will past, Jac,” he said. “Storm is het mooiste excuus om je ann iemand vast te klampen.” Storm is the best excuse for you to hold on to someone tight.

What made him decide to hold on tight to me? Apparently, he said it was something that happened a very long time ago that set him on this path: I was giving someone CPR, I had looked up in the midst of it and upon seeing him standing there, I had said to him, “Do something!” He said that moment in time finally made him understand this line in the Morrissey song, “You have never been in love until you have seen the sunlight thrown on smashed human bones.”

There were indeed smashed human bones that morning. I lost the battle to Death and let a life go, to emerge wiser when the sun set, to begin surrendering with grace to the inevitability of living. It all passed in a blur to me, but that was his reason for never letting me go.

Weird reason, but sometimes, we need that one reason, however weird. When I wasn’t sure about a love with someone, the Jamaican seer in London, Mamma Stevenson, asked me to find back the moment when that someone said  ‘I love you”. I couldn’t, for the life of me, and I knew then that particular relationship was doomed. The reason simply wasn’t there to keep a fire burning for a lifetime.

This is a very powerful clip from Thailand about how one man’s reason for the amazing good things he did in his life for the world was driven by one reason, one wordless reason from a long time ago that he cannot forget, and that reason is compassion.

Give someone a reason ❤