I went for a long run (20+km) with my partner, but I could tell, he was still not satisfied. There was still a lot of tightly coiled tension and nervous energy in him. It would be hell at home with him if he still had all that explosiveness raging inside his body.
Coincidentally, we were running past the yoga studio that I normally go to and it was just the right time for the evening class, so I thought, “Brilliant! He can run some more whilst I go to yoga and do some stretching for 90 minutes.”
He seemed very relieved by the option, and so, we parted ways.
5 minutes into class, I knew it wasn’t a smart choice. I was exhausted and perhaps slightly dehydrated from the run….and 85 minutes more of this torture to go! I was very tempted to make my excuses and leave …. after all, I know the teacher well, he knew I had been for a long run and I was standing very close to the door (I could easily sneak out without disrupting the class). The more I entertained the voices in my head, the more difficult the class became.
So I thought I’d listen to the alternative voice instead (there’s always one, if you listen hard enough). ‘So what would you do if you walk out? Sit around like a lemon for 85 minutes waiting for him? Far better to do something useful for 90 minutes!”
And here’s the funny thing: once I listened to the positive voice, the fatigue, dizziness and nausea faded. It was the “What the heck!” feeling. I’m stuck here, I may as well do my best!
It reminded me of a dialogue by a famous teacher, who said, “This is like an Indian marriage, no choice!”
Indeed it is true. I made the commitment to be on my mat for 90 minutes when I walked in, akin to a marriage albeit to myself and my mat. It wasn’t as nice as I thought it would be, and my “friends” (in my head) gave me all the good reasons to walk out. It would have been far easier to listen to my imaginary friends….but I took the decision instead to think deeply, “What is the alternative?” I also had faith that like all else in life, bad times are not permanent. And I searched for the one strong voice that will support me.
The 90 minutes went by and to my surprise, my teacher congratulated me for a very strong class. I walked out of the studio into the darkening night, walking on air and stars in my head.
My partner was sitting in the pavement waiting for me. “Good class?” He asked quizzically. “You’re buzzing, girl!”
I linked my arm through his. “Uhm. Marriage. You know, sticking to the programme.”
“The things you learn on a yoga mat, hey, Jac?”
He laughed and we headed off to the beach shack on the oceanfront for an ice-cold drink. ❤