Different cultures have different ways of coping with sadness. Mine is going for a walk, getting a cuddle from a loved one, having a glass of wine. That’s what we do.  Here’s doing it differently.


One of the last things he left me was words: strong, painful, powerful, beautiful. He had read my latest book sitting cross-legged in bed on my birthday last year, watching the rain somewhere in Phuket. I love the way my written words sounded when he read them with his big, greedy mouth. I love his accent, because it sounded of home and rain in Jakarta.

I don’t think he liked An Evening In Wonderland as much as he loved Live Patanjali! Yoga Wisdom for Everyday Living which he quoted back to me frequently, just to annoy me. “Jac, you should really read this book call Live Patanjali written by Jacqueline Koay….”

Today, as I sat on my daybed, reading the manuscript of my last book, I felt melancholic. “Promise me, you’ll always remember how to find me,” the Unicorn said to the Monster. What would he say about the sentimentality?

He is the wild, wandering dervish, Shams of Tabriz, to my Rumi. Reading the words of Shams is like hearing his mocking voice with that home accent, spilling from his big greedy mouth. But today, it is Rumi that struck a chord in me.

“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”

– Rumi

To be honest, I didn’t feel like dancing.  You see, we are more used to dancing when we are happy – we dance with joy, for example – rather than when sadness engulfs us. I decided to dance anyway, to do things differently. It makes sense. Prana needs to flow, to flush out the stagnant energy, to reconnect with life. So said the book Live Patanjali.

The late Gabrielle Roth wrote this:

“In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions: “When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop being comforted by the sweet territory of silence?”

I did dance, and I felt so much better.  I literally danced the sun right up in my inner skies ❤