In my 20s and 30s, I would join the merry celebrations and make wanton New Year Resolutions – go running at least twice a week, read more classic literature, spend less time at work, etc – that petered off (typically) by the second or third month of the new year.
And then I stopped making New Year Resolutions altogether. A straw poll amongst friends showed that we more than likely don’t see through what we promised ourselves in the drunken moments in the last days of the year.
This year, I decided that instead of making New Year Resolutions or not making any, that I will look back in gratitude instead. The past 2-3 years of my life was eventful, peaceful, painful, beautiful. I feel like a sailor in rough seas coming home to port.
And it is for the safe harbour and the rough seas that I give my thanks to. For my partner who has always been my safe harbour (long before he was my partner), the angels on earth who walked the difficult parts of my journey with me, the ever-present love and kindness of my family, and I also give my gratitude this year to the family and the people who broke me, because in that brokenness, they have let light into my life. I hope they find salvation from their own suffering – people hurt you because they are suffering themselves, not because of fun. There is inherent goodness in all human beings.
My thanks too, to the Georgian family who gave me their grandmother’s 100+ years crucifix six years ago – I held on to this when I thought I was drowning, and in 2017, I gave away 4 crucifixes to strangers who asked. What you put out in the world goes round and round, it definitely does.
And thank you all, for reading this, for following this blog, for being part of my life for the past 2 years as I struggled my way through the cesspit I was in to stand in light today. Thank you for being my journey. With love always ❤