A long time ago, whilst we were in Jakarta, someone asked my partner, “Sudah berumahtangga?”
He smiled broadly and nodded his head. Rumah means house and tangga means stairs. Therefore he assumed that the person inquired if he has a house with stairs.
Well, actually, rumahtangga is a beautiful word meaning family and a home with your loved ones.
For me, it also means having someone waiting for you when you come back from work, big smile on her/his face, food on the table and cuddling up on rainy nights. It means having a home built with love and shared vision, even if the rumah (house) has no tangga (stairs).
Rumahtangga is facing the crap in life together when you feel like running out on that person and believing that better days will come.
It really takes two people committed to one shared vision to build a rumahtangga and accepting with the sacrifices with good grace. I think the energy of two people really needs to be in the house especially on boring days; for me personally, if one partner wants to sleep in the spare room to watch porn and go on dating websites, then hmmm, not for me, thanks.There has to be the focus, the joy in being home both mentally and emotionally, not just physically, whatever the enticements of life outside.
My partner lost his passport yesterday (two days before he was due to fly) and he blames me because “life is complicated these days” (big bags of food shopping, etc). Yes, my dear, that’s the price for your rumahtangga 🙂
Here are some very insight sketches by the brilliant artist Jude Devir capturing the concept of rumahtangga brilliantly: go and take a look, click here 🙂