Question: what is the face you show when things go bad/wrong/belly up?

Yesterday, I wrote about the Frenchwoman I met last year, and we became close friends very quickly. Early on in our friendship, we hit a snag (complication, it involved other people too) and then another and then another.  But after throwing her hands up in her Gallic way, Marion just dealt with it. She was a bit huffy with me, but that was it. I felt awful as I was sitting on the boat somewhere with my family, having the greatest time, but we texted to and fro, and all was good.  Our fledgling friendship became stronger.

You can tell a lot by how someone acts when the chips are down. This is when you see someone’s true face.

In response to this post, someone wrote to tell me that she is so beaten up emotionally by her husband, who gets verbally abusive each time something goes wrong (even if she is innocent). The husband gets very vitriolic, and small incidents turn into painful words that cuts her deeply.

A long time ago, I coined the word “emotional punchbag”. Don’t be anyone’s emotional punchbag. Don’t accept blame, because blame does not solve anything, only creates damage. There is no justification for one human being to lash out at another verbally.  It’s the cowards’ way – because if the lashing had been physical instead of verbal, the consequences would indeed be very different.

But being beaten up verbally can have the same impact over time as physical beatings. It kills something that is hopeful, child-like and beautiful with you. It kills your inner butterflies. 

So never allow anyone to kill your inner butterflies. Even if they are having a bad time, there is no justification ever for using another human being as an emotional punchbag. And for what purpose to cut others down with your words? You don’t make your darkness brighter by blowing out someone’s candle.