Picture this scene: you see a beautiful garden. You are attracted by the big blooms and manicured lawns. You are drawn to visit it. And then when you are sitting in the garden, you find that the flowers are poisonous with a rotten smell. And the grass, it’s full of chemicals and toxins. It’s not even real grass. And worse, there is a rotting junkyard behind the bushes.

Now, imagine that the garden is a person. And imagine that the person is you. What do you have to do with your garden if you want to attract a strong life partner (rather than a user or a desperate one), if you want to attract good fortune, wealth, health, happiness? And more importantly, to make all those want to stay?

Yes, you have to remove the poison, the toxins and the rot. If you don’t, then those who stay are those who have nowhere else to go, or those who are damaged themselves. Every strong, healthy, long-term relationship need a good garden to build a home on.

My partner’s garden wasn’t that attractive; for years, I did not feel compelled to visit. Then when I lay down on the grass, I suddenly noticed that it was sweet and familiar, like the stuff that grows in the South Downs of my youth, and though there were no flowers, I saw the big oak trees, and yews and silver birches of my beloved New Forest in his garden….small dogwoods and bluebells grow in the shade when I bothered to look. Every spring, the simple daffodils flower in his garden, which reflect my parents’. Good enough for me, though there are the occasional thorns and fire ants. He had indeed done a lot of work in his garden 🙂

My single girl pal recently went for a workshop on “Manifestation” to manifest the soulmate she seeks, the life she seeks, the happiness she seeks.  Sounds like a great week of sharing, yoga, raw food, meditation, chanting and interesting people. But heck, it is expensive!

Here’s my suggestions for getting AND keeping what/who you want. It’s been tried and tested, and proven, but you have to be patient. Like the most powerful magic, it takes time to manifest, but when it does, it is for life:

  1. Clean out the junk. This is not easy because of “karmic inheritance” and long-term damage (often from childhood) but it is worth investing in this. Personally, I find Family Constellation helps a lot.
  2. Cleanse your living space. Get rid of mementoes from your past that is toxic. Delete/burn photos and throw things out. Smudge your house with sage leaves. Burn candles in dark corners or rooms. Open windows and doors to let sunshine and fresh air in.
  3. Don’t hang out with people who talk bad about others. Their language will become your inner voice.
  4. Turn a bad thought into a good, positive one. This is important. If you merely try to suppress a bad thought, it will grow into something big. It needs to be transformed. And sometimes, you need help. My partner and daughter have a large fan base and it is often their fan base that helps me see the light side of their annoying foibles.
  5. Fill your ears with beautiful music. No, I don’t mean “cool”, loud ones, as music has the power to affect your brain. I know a 40-something who hangs on to the music of his 20-something ex, so he listens to trendy pop songs, which which didn’t do anything to ground his already jumpy, nervous personality. Shania Noll’s songs for the Inner Child speak directly to yours with messages of love. This is one I strongly recommend for all broken souls: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF7yFOlOk9M&index=3&list=RDEM3KYtsZIfXXSSV_-3yX5Oag
  6. Spend time on your own with beautiful music and in silence, because if you don’t truly like spending time with yourself, how could you expect anyone to?
  7. Read beautiful words. My partner and my best friend both bought online courses on Rumi for me, which I receive in my mailbox everyday.
  8. Create your sangha – community who lifts you. Living busy lives, this is often difficult; these days we have acquaintances rather than true friends who are few and far in between. An online sangha is the alternative. This is one that I got from mine this morning: what a great way to start the day!
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  10. Finally, be part of the lifego.me movement here. It is free, it is not used for commercial gains, its only agenda is to spread love, and we endeavour to put something positive in your day every day, be it a recipe, a random thought, a weird philosophy, or a simple sharing. Have a good day, everyone ❤

Main photo: me, with what I want. A simple life by the ocean and my family.