Meditation is such a beautiful practice and this is a particularly beautiful moment in meditation that I experienced last night.
Before we go to sleep we often meditate together last thing at night. Last night, we sat on the bed facing each other, knees touching. He lit a candle.
“Which mantra or music should I put on?” I asked.
He smiled and replied, ‘I want to listen to your breath, Jac.”
I love his sweetness.
We meditated in silence. I could hear the ocean waves crashing onto the rocks below. I couldn’t hear his breath, could he hear mine? All I could hear were the ocean waves. As with most meditation practice, the mind wanders. Mine began thinking: I didn’t sleep well the past few nights because of the loud ocean waves, should we run first or yoga tomorrow morning, is there milk in the fridge, he moves rather silently for a big man and a few other inconsequential thoughts. I grinned about some silly thing he had commented in the past, that I on the other hand moved like a herd of elephants. As I couldn’t hear his breath, I brought my wandering attention back to my own breath.
Immediately my focus shifted to the internal environment of my body. I became aware of the nuances like the slight soreness in my back, the tightness in my neck, the expansion in my rib cage and other little sensations happening inside me. I felt peaceful and alive, attuned.
And then there was silence, stillness and nothingness. Like a noiseless, calm sea of black. Like a cinema screen at the end of a movie.
As I sat there, the blank cinema screen suddenly came to life. I saw….to my surprise…..my own face. My eyes, my nose, my lips. I was smiling, nose wrinkling, laughter lines radiating from my eyes, sunlight reflecting in my eyes. I said something in the film, directly to the camera, and laughed.
My eyelids sprang open in surprise. The room looked the same. He was sat there, same place, still as a rock, eyes closed, expression peaceful. I knew at that moment that what I saw was in fact a reflection of his consciousness, and his consciousness was me.