I think the most significant thing I have done in recent months is getting my parenting philosophy into the lives of so many parents who downloaded my book on Kindle in such great numbers that my book, Easy Parenting For All Ages, ended up on the coveted #3 spot in the Parenting genre.
But is it false advertising? Can parenting ever be easy?
I read some of the comments that popped up in forums: “She has five kids, it gets easier the more kids you have”, “She is rich, she has maids to look after her children”, “Her kids have good genes.”
Not so. (i) Parenting got easier once I sussed out what I was doing (note: I have a child on the autism spectrum) (ii) I had no maids, no cleaners and no parents helping me when I was a penniless student at University 250 miles from home and (iii) my kids are mischievous, all of them are so different from one another, but the parenting philosophy is the same.
Well, straight from the horses mouth, it is easy because there are two principles to sort out first and foremost when it comes to parenting, and then everything flows:
The First Principle
The Second Principle
Simple as that. My children’s father came from a very happy household and he sussed that out early. We all need to be happy even when life was tough. This was why he focused a lot of his energy on getting us all laughing, especially me, instead of earning more money. I was a spoilt and uptight little cow and he sorted me out.
If the energy of the woman isn’t right, the household isn’t right.
Without sounding sexist, mothers have a huge potential to damage children because our voice is the house that our children live in. It is by far the loudest voice our children hear, even in adulthood. How we speak to our children become their inner voice.
Without a mother who is contented with her role, happy with where she is, feels supported and is accepting of her path (imperfections and all), the household is rudderless and not peaceful, however big or however rich. Granted, it is difficult in the real world to be happy-clappy all the time, but I strongly believe that if we hold on to these two basic principles, then we go a long way already towards raising happy, strong and balanced children.
I do have some stresses in my life at the moment, but I often remind myself to maintain a sense of equanimity and normality for the sake of my household, and hence, my daughter. The best I can give her is this.
Related article: Life is a laugh
First published in www.raisinghappystrongkids.com