A week or so ago, someone shared an article about why we shouldn’t praise our children. And then just two days ago, when I praised my older daughter’s beauty, another person asked if her younger sister would get jealous if she read my words.
It made me pause to think. Does praising children often make it meaningless? Does praising engender jealousy? Does it make the other person who is not praised feel not-good-enough?
I spent a fair bit of time thinking through past experiences (my own and my children’s), soul-searching and discussions with my children’s father, and came to this conclusion: please praise your children.
These are the six overwhelming reasons:
(1) Praising teaches non-comparison. We all can be /pretty/clever/etc and most importantly, competition is not about being better than the other person, but growing to be our best selves.
(2) Praising sets an example for our children to speak good of others. This is far better than speaking ill of others, which only has the effect of making the speaker’s life miserable.
(3) Praising teaches children to recognise and celebrate the good in others, and be part of the rising tide. If you look for the bad in people, you will find it …. in yourself. Because truly, our spoken words are just a reflection of our inner landscape.
(4) When you speak good words, you raise the positivity of the world. I was once in a house where only ill was spoken, a clean and spotless house with a lovely garden, but I felt the chill. So raise the good energy in your home environment!
(5) Praising teaches children to give and also to accept praises….and to feel good about themselves. I love being in the reflected glory of others’ successes – rather than being envious or jealous – because I know I have been amply blessed in my life. What goes round really does comes round.
(6) It teaches children that the universe is so vast that there is room for all stars and that each and everyone of us have a special role to play in life.