Life goes on and on, beyond us. But what we do today affects many tomorrows and many lives. A man or woman raised in an unkind household will go on repeating the pattern subconsciously  – my life had been affected my how people raise their sons, because cruelty and kindness often have as their source the parents and childhood homes.

I strongly believe one raised with love will continue the legacy.


This image of a long ago summer burns in my mind: my big, macho brother tenderly making a daisy chain for his daughter. I marvelled at the priceless love token he created with his big strong fingers, the way his head is bent low as he concentrated on weaving together the delicate stems of the tiny daisies that grew in the common in summer.

It struck a chord deeply in me, because we all long for tenderness in a harsh world. We look for that at the end of a long hard day, in the beginning of one, and all the hours in between.  Just a little something from our beloved that makes the sun shine a little  brighter.

I always cherish my partner’s unconscious, unscripted gestures that come from deep within him, perhaps more than I value his more flamboyant ones, like the way he puts sunblock on my legs (I am rather cavalier about sun care), fetches me a cup of tea as soon as I wake up in the morning, stroking my hair as I lay on his chest and a hundred precious little touches.

I hope I have raised sons who do the same for the women in their lives. How to do teach them to do that? Show them lots and lots of tenderness, so that it becomes a natural language to them.

Kiss them so often that they kiss back without thinking.

Hug them loads so that they hug back with all their hearts.

Caress their hair lovingly so that they reach out subconsciously to do the same to some lucky woman in the future.

Praise them often, so that they speak beautiful words.

Please spare a minute to watch this little boy (who will grow into an amazing man) putting the above into practice ❤