I wrote yesterday that my first yoga class in almost two months nearly killed me (article here). My lovely yoga teacher, knowing how badly I felt about myself, said this to me afterwards, “Thank you for showing up.”
I apologised for being such a wimp, and he said the words that resonated so much to me, “You showed up, and that is most important.”
Yes, I had wanted to snuggle deeper into my duvet that morning. It was so snug and I really did not feel like getting out of bed. I knew it was going to be a difficult class. I had 101 reasons for not going to yoga that morning, including a very valid, ‘I will go for a run later instead.”
I genuinely didn’t know how I got there, but I did. And that was the most difficult bit.
Same with relationships. It is difficult to “show up” everyday when times are tough or things are boring. In the past, I had continued showing up with a smiley face when my spirit was battered, continued doing the same thing against my better judgement, continued getting on the plane to serve a promise, continued on a path just because I made a promise. I know it took great fortitude and love on my part to continue showing up. Even if it was for nothing, I am glad I did.
It is also the same from the other perspective. My partner continues showing up even when I make it difficult for him to show up (call it a defence mechanism). Even right in the beginning, when we were “just friends”, he showed up when he did not have to. Tired after a long day’s work, he would show up at all hours and he would stay, with a happy smiling face, even when being by my side was the worst place to be.
I know I don’t always make it easy for him, but the big saving grace is that I am ALWAYS grateful to him for the strength and passion of his commitment to me. So I said, out of the blue, to him, “Hey, Big Boy, thanks for showing up!”
He was suspicious. “Is that sarcasm?” It has long been a bone of contention between us that he never wanted to be part of my social life or my “obsessive” (his word) church-going, but he always shows up when it matters. He was there everyday by my side in church when I was ill, uncomplaining, silent and supportive, as I lit enough candles to burn down the city of London. And he always shows up at my parents’ house, even though they drive him mad sometimes (oh, they must). I know I can always count on him to be there with strong heart and steady hands.
“Read my blog in a few hours’ time,” I told him. So here it is.
To do this Sunday:
Say thanks to your spouse and all who have always shown up for you, because sometimes, showing up day after day is more difficult than grand gestures and empty promises ❤ ❤ ❤ Believe me, it makes a huge difference when someone appreciates your unseen efforts.