My mother-in-law was such a strong woman – such a positive force in her family’s life before she passed away. But for a couple of years before she died, she was severely ill with Alzheimer’s. In her last months, she no longer recognised her family members, with the exception of my older daughter, Kat (seen here, in 2015).
My younger daughter used to get exasperated with her grandmother whenever her grandmother confused her with her cousin. “Nanny,” she would huff in exaggeration. “See my hair? It’s not blonde, is it? So why do you call me Sarah?”
“Who are you?” My mother-n-law once asked her much-loved only son. Yet she derived a lot of comfort from her family’s presence, despite not recognising them.
Digby Tantam, Clinical Professor of Psychotherapy at the University of Sheffield, says that brains are connected to each other like ‘wi-fi’. From a physics standpoint, I really believe this is the case: thoughts generate brain waves and I believe that these waves can propagate through a medium called called the Higgs Field, which permeates the whole universe.
A few days ago, my partner had a particularly brutal conference call about work. He went out immediately for a 50km cycle ride up and down the hills, across the island, past lovely beaches and busy motorway.
He came back, still in a foul mood. I asked him to “Sit down, close your eyes, and lean into me” after his shower. We sat there for ages in a darkened room, breathing as one. I could feel his tension, his anger, but after a while, he loosened up and was snoring!
How to connect to your partner via brain wifi:
At the end of a long day, sit cross-legged facing each other in bed. Dim the lights. Sit close enough so that your knees touch. Close your eyes and breathe into the space between you. Do this for 9 minutes. It’s beautiful! (and so very peaceful and healing).